On Grief Awareness Day

In honor of Grief Awareness Day, I’m sharing part of my story in hopes that you advocate for expanded workplace leave after loss.

My mom had stage IV lung cancer. You don’t need the details. It was brutal.

We held a memorial service, which my boss came to.

They said, “You know, it would be good for you to come back to work on Monday.”

Xand Griffin with her mother, Giovanna ‘JoJo’ Griffin

It wasn’t their fault. Workplaces don’t know how to deal with loss, and only 60% of U.S. workplaces offer 3 days (or less) of paid bereavement leave.

I threw myself back into work that Monday.

Years later, I was sleeping 12 - 15 hours a day. I hated waking up, I hated myself, and I hated everyone around me. I was great at pretending everything was fine but I wanted everything to stop.

I only remembered the pain from losing her. I only remembered that death was inevitable. I forgot that she was silly, dedicated, and loyal. I forgot that there is so much beauty that surrounds us.

I forgot that she lives on in me.

I recently got an opportunity to take time from work. This gift helped me remember the things I forgot. 6 years later and I’m doing better than ever. I feel alive again.

A lot of people don’t get that. Good people can lose themselves entirely.

I know that if I had taken the time then, I wouldn’t have wasted years on pretending to be ok when I knew I wasn’t. I felt like I couldn’t then, but I know now that I needed to ask for leave.

Advocate for leave in your own workplace at Option B’s resource center.

Xand Griffin with terrible haircut and mother, Giovanna ‘JoJo’ Griffin